OVERCOMING OBJECTIONS – COACHING PHASE

Overcoming Objections When COACHING Group Coordinators

“ I didn’t renew our group name…I’m not sure why you’re calling me,” or “That’s my (wife’s/husband’s) deal, I’m not really involved”

• With most couples, one spouse is much more involved than the other in serving as the Group Coordinator. Ask questions to discern which one that is. “When you have invited in the past, would you say you or your (husband/wife) was the most involved, or were both of you pretty equally involved?” If they say that their spouse was the primary inviter, ask if spouse is available.

• Another approach is to try and “invite” the non-involved spouse to join in the passion and interest of the involved spouse. You can say something like, “It’s obvious that your spouse has a passion to reach hurting marriages around you. What a great cheerleader and encourager you can be to him/her! Have you ever thought about joining him/her in their passion?”

“Nobody is signing up”

• This is a common response and reflects discouragement… our job here is to encourage them in whatever way we

• Share your own stories of being persistent in your invitations, and the results you have seen because you didn’t give up.

• Ask questions about how, when, and where they are inviting. Offer additional suggestions and ideas. Especially encourage them to host a registration table where people can sign up on the spot, or to have a similar sign up opportunity in their Sunday school class or small group.

• Make sure they have all the tools they need to invite: brochures, brochure inserts or stickers with their group name, posters, etc. Offer to send them things that would be helpful.

• Ask them what kind of objections they are hearing, and then equip them with some possible responses.

• Pray with them, and encourage them to continue praying themselves. The parable of the Persistent Widow is a good scripture to share (Luke 11:5-13).

“I’m all set, I have everything I need.”

• This response comes when we ask the wrong question to begin with… “Do you need anything?” In almost every case, this leads directly to the response above, effectively ending the conversation for most people. People in our society today are programmed to naturally decline offers of help. Thus, the best way to handle this is to ask a better, more open-ended question…

• “Do you mind if I walk through the invitational tools we have, to make sure that you are aware of everything available, and that you have what will be most helpful to you?

• “Would it be okay if I shared some invitation ideas that others are finding to be extremely effective?”

• “We’re compiling a list of ‘best practices’ to share with other group coordinators; would you be willing to help us by sharing what you are finding to be effective?” After listening and taking notes, follow up with, “Can I share with you some of the responses we have been hearing from others?”

• If you are already here, and have received this response, ask some specific probing questions to uncover opportunities to help them.

• “If I may ask, do you have a way to include your group name with each brochure, like an insert or sticker?

• “If I may ask, were you aware that pastors and active, guard, and reserve military attend for free?”

• “Have you found posters or our promotional DVD to be helpful?

• “Is there anything I can be praying about for you or your family?”  (This is a very powerful question that opens up many fruitful conversations)

 “We’re too busy to invite this year”

• When people say this, they do not mean it, nor do they really expect you to believe it. It is merely a polite way of communicating one of two other things: either, “We have so many things going on that we do not want to add one more thing to think about,” or “Our heart is not in it at this point in time and we are unwilling to do it.” Begin by asking probing questions to discern which of these is truly the case. If the former, seek to find out what they are willing to do. If the latter, ask for an alternate contact in the church.

• “I can definitely relate to how busy life can be. Do you think you would be able to put up a handful of posters at church? Would you be able to put out brochures? Can you think of another couple in the church that you might partner with to share the load?”

• If they really aren’t willing to invite this year, ask them if they know of another couple in the church that you could connect with to make sure the folks there receive an invitation. If they are unwilling to provide an alternate contact, ask them for a pastor’s name to contact in their church.

• They may not realize they don’t have to attend in a “group” in order to invite. Clarify the word “group” only refers to their name and not that they have to attend in a group (although it’s great when they do!)  They can still spread their “group name” and bless couples with the discount even if they don’t go.

“Our plans changed and we can’t go, so we’re not going to invite this year”

• Emphasize that they do not have to attend in order to be used by God to impact another couple. Share your own stories of inviting couples who attended getaways that you did not, and the impact it had on them.

• If they really aren’t willing to invite this year, ask them if they know of another couple in the church that you could connect with to make sure the folks there receive an invitation. If they are unwilling to provide an alternate contact, ask them for a pastor’s name to contact in their church.

• They may not realize they don’t have to attend in a “group” in order to invite. Clarify the word “group” only refers to their name and not that they have to attend in a group (although it’s great when they do!)  They can still spread their “group name” and bless couples with the discount even if they don’t go.

“Our church is not allowing us to invite in the church this year”

• Although they may not be able to do a registration table at their church or invite church-wide, they can still invite in Sunday school classes or small groups by handing out brochures with their group name and instructions to register.

• Ask if they were aware their pastors could attend for free, and encourage buy-in from them by inviting them personally to the WTR.

• Ask if they know any active, guard, or reserve military (in or out of church) as they can attend for free.
• Encourage them to keep thinking bigger and invite outside their church – at their work, with family and friends, with social clubs they’re involved in, and community contacts.

Overcoming Objections for Group Coordinators Inviting Couples to ATTEND a Getaway

“It’s expensive”

• “I thought so too at first, but here is what I found…”

• “Compared to what?” Help them to think in terms of value instead of cost.

• The average couple spends $1,020 every year to maintain their cars*, and they only keep them for 10 years. And that does not include the cost of gas, oil, insurance, purchase, or interest. Yet many people balk at investing a few hundred dollars into their marriage even just one time, and even though they want to keep it for a lifetime. Isn’t your marriage more valuable than your cars? And just like cars, marriages need maintenance.

• The average divorce costs $4,000. Even just talking economics, it makes sense to invest in your marriage from time to time.

• In 2014, the average registration cost to attend a two-day business conference was about $500 per person, not counting transportation, lodging, and meals. People invest a great deal to improve their business skills, doesn’t it make sense to improve our marriage skills? After all, your marriage is going to last longer than your business career.

• “If I could show you how you could attend for $X, would you be interested?

• “At what price would you say it is worth attending? If I could find a way to help you get to that, would you register?”

“Our marriage is fine”

• “How would you define ‘fine?’”

• Would your (husband/wife) agree? How do you think they would describe your marriage?

• In some settings you can walk individuals or couples through some self-assessment questions, asking them to rate different areas of their marriage on a scale from 1 to 10… communication, finances, romance, intimacy, oneness, busy-ness, etc. No one rates their marriage all “10’s.” Highlight the opportunity to improve their joy, satisfaction, and happiness.

• “If you could improve your joy, satisfaction, and happiness in your marriage by just 10% (a one point shift on a ten point rating scale), wouldn’t it be worth one weekend?”

• The most powerful response to this objection is to share your own story about attending a Getaway even though your marriage was good. Describe the positive impact it had. Also share stories from other couples with which you are personally familiar.

• Marriages are like gardens … they don’t naturally produce good things. They need to be watered, weeded, and cared for. If you neglect them, the good plants get choked out, and you end up with nothing but weeds. The same is true for marriages. You have to take care of them if you want them to do well. Like gardens … they don’t die out overnight, but if you neglect them they will certainly decline.

• Marriages are like cars … they need regular maintenance to keep them running smoothly. If you never change the oil in your car, it will run “fine” for 20,000 – 30,000 miles. It won’t “feel” like there’s anything wrong with it. But one day the engine will seize up, and instead of a $20 oil change you’ll be faced with a $3,000 engine to replace. Marriages are the same way … just because they “feel” okay doesn’t mean everything is fine.

• Keeping your marriage healthy is a lot like maintaining good physical health. Every now and then you need to see a doctor for a check-up, even if you “feel” fine. In fact, it’s the only way to find out if you have high blood pressure, which is called the silent killer because you can’t feel it. People eat a poor diet for years and feel fine … then one day they drop dead from a heart attack or stroke. We see the same thing happen in marriages every day — they “suddenly” fall apart, and the love “dies.” The Weekend to Remember is a great “check-up” for any marriage!

If you have encountered other objections that you would like to see addressed, or if you have additional responses that you have found to be effective, we want to know! Let us know through the “Contact Us” page.